no resolutions. just progress.

it's that time again. that time when you evaluate the past year, in hopes of making the next one better. but let's be real - how many people actually keep their resolutions list around, let alone fulfill them? not many. and definitely not me. instead, im going to try and make progress in my life.

my past year was extremely eventful - a rollercoaster, to say the least. the loss of a loved one shook my whole life around. but then i met an amazing man. and in may, i graduated college. in october, i moved to a different state. now, i am living with a boy. and working a big girl job [which is a pain in the butt, but a total blessing].

in between the crazyness and stress of the past year, i seemed to have forgotten about myself. so, this coming year is all about... ME. well, sorta. it's basically going to be about making me a well-rounded human being instead of a lump on a log. case in point - adam and i got a wii for christmas [thanks mom!] and the day after we played the boxing game, i was sore. like, old lady/can't move kind of sore. i learned that i am waaay outta shape and need a workout routine asap.

there are other things i want to work on too - like my finances. my goal is to get out of debt [minus my $33,000 student loan, of course (fml)] by the end of the year - in addition to opening one short term and one long term savings account and an IRA. and now that i have a little medical insurance, i really want to build a support system in this city while i am here. that means finding a good doctor, dentist, chiropractor.

so... 2011 isn't going to be about making promises i won't keep - it will be about making lifestyle changes & eventually seeing progress within myself and the life around me.

fa la la la.

here's a little holiday cheer for you :]

adulthood.

as i rolled over in bed and looked at the clock this morning, the past week snowballed onto me and i immediately realized that i had finally entered adulthood.

a] my sleep schedule has become 10-7. every day. even today - a saturday - my day off. i went to bed at 1030 [on a friday night - who am i?]. woke up at 7. tossed/turned until 8. lame.

b] i don't really remember the last time i went out with the girls to dance and get my drink on. maybe for graduation? i just cannot hold my liquor anymore - four drinks and i am donezo. i don't have the energy to go out until midnight, let alone 2am. who am i kidding - i don't even have the energy to go out unless the sun is shining. so lame.

c] on wednesday, i get a humongous paycheck. what am i going to doing with it? pay bills. and more bills. what's worse is that i am looking forward to it! i have all of my bills lined up on my desk, and as soon as my direct deposit goes through, i'll start checking them off my list with glee. double lame.

don't get me wrong, i still have little kid tendencies - i am eating captain crunch as i write this, & im uber excited to go to the zoo on sunday - but in the end, i have turned into an adult. an adult i don't recognize.

one year.

it has been one year since my first love/best friend passed away.

we didn't have the best falling out when we broke up, but we still remained amazing friends. we would talk on the phone frequently - each of us complaining about the person we were dating and the city we were living in at time, and then making a pact to be together as soon as we moved closer together. why couldn't we do a long distance relationship? well we tried it when we went off to college, but we both needed daily attention and love, so it never really worked. but every time we would see each other, even if only for a day, our feelings would always pick up where they left off.

he was the most attractive boy i ever dated [sorry, guys] - and not just because of his looks, but because of his personality too. he was confident [and cocky], strong willed, funny and goofy, romantic, opinionated, sexy, determined, etc. he was also the smartest person i had ever met.

we always used to say that we would have two twin boys [even though twins didn't run in either of our families]. they would be named logan and landon - and they would be wrestlers, just like their dad. it pains me to hear those two names now.

even though we took completely different paths, my thoughts always went back to him - and still do. i had always hoped that we would be reunited again, and that our relationship would be better and more mature a second time around. but, of course, that never happened.

after a year, though, it has gotten a little easier. there are times when i see the sun shining through my window, or hear a song that reminds me of him - and i'll either smile or i'll cry. but i don't think it will ever be easy. knowing that he is not here, growing, learning, aging, experiencing... that's the most heart-wrenching of all.

drum roll please...

some of you already know my HUGE news via facebook & twitter... [i don't know how to keep secrets or contain myself sometimes] but for those of you who don't know, or would just like the scoop, here it is :]

a] i got a job! remember that catering/event company i have been yapping about via my blog? yup - you guessed right! mj catering and events is my new employer. and i... am their new event planner :] they decided to hire two planners since their company is growing so exponentially - so we will be partners in charge of all the planning and events for our clients in the evanston/chicago area. i will start training full time in december - learning about the company and the employees themselves; trying all of the food that will be on their new menus [yum!]; meeting all the vendors and clients; etc. aka big time shtuff. i have orientation on monday, which i am totally excited about, so i will be able to learn more about what exactly i will be doing.

b] i won two free tickets to the joshua radin concert the night before thanksgiving! right now, i am the only one going. lol. so.... if you're interested, let me know! it's at the vic &  should be an amazing concert :]

c] i got an iphone4! for those of you who know me - i have wanted an iphone for... forever. my momma just couldn't hold out till christmas [see where i get that whole bad-at-secrets thing?], and she figured i would need it for work, so she gave it to me when i was home! im still trying to figure it out... but am loving it so very much.

these past couple of days have been insanely good. it is crazy how things can change so quickly...

i am so very thankful for everything that has come my way the past two months <3

motivational lip-syncing.

it's my day off today. this morning i decided that i should just relax and be lazy allll day. i really don't 'relax' that much because there is always something that needs to be done - and i hate having idle hands [i get it from mah grampa]. so, after two hours of reading/watching the today show & rachael ray, i had had enough. what did i do instead? go on facebook. and twitter. so unoriginal. then.. i came across a lil' video that gave me a little motivation [and a giggle fit i might add] to get up, take a shower & start laundry. so much for my lazy day. but, alas, here's the video. enjoy :]

bibbedy. bobbedy. boo.

a couple days ago, adam told me that he wanted me to be happy - with whatever i do, he just wants me to be happy. he tells me this all of the time, but for some reason, this time it resonated with me because i had read an article earlier that day entitled "being the grown-up the kid in you always wanted". the author said that "some psychologists suggest that the ages from 8-10 are a time when we are our most authentic selves". imagine that. the years when i wanted to be a vet and own a house full of animals; the years when i wanted to morph into kelly kapowski; the years when i loved barbies SO much, that i wished every single day for the clothes to grow ten times bigger. and as i watched the trick or treat-ers this weekend, i realized that the author was right. children that age seem the most innocent, confortable and happy. she then wrote a list of things we could do to encompass that eight year old mentality into our everyday lives:

1] stop smoking. i never even started. done.

2] follow your own fashion rules. i've been doin' that since i was little - except for the days when the popular group thought doc martins and colored shoelaces were cool. i wish i could take that back. as i get older, though, i am realizing that quality > quantity. i am learning that well-made key pieces can last a lifetime. so my goal is to stop buying five shirts just because they're on sale. if i don't see myself wearing them in five years, then i shouldn't get them.

3] go outside and play. being close to the train has been a blessing for me, because i just walk everyone. but still, this is something i need to work on - especially once the winter months get here [ugh].

4] do your homework first. well, no homework for me anymore. sadface. but this can apply to my everyday life, too. for example, i tend to tidy up the house every day, just so it doesn't get majorly cluttered. and i normally try to keep myself updated on the news - whether it be about the country or about my friends. but alas, sometimes the college procrastination still gets the best of me.

5] play 'make believe'. this one is my favorite because i used to love to make up plays and songs - i even had an imaginary friend named pony. when you get older, though, it gets really hard to use your imagination, especially when your world kind of becomes a routine. sometimes adam and i will play board games or watch cartoons - but i still yearn to do more.

6] live by your kid conscience. "if you live your life by the rules of your younger self, chances are pretty good you'll be doing the right thing, acting with dignity, honor, and politesse". i tend to feel that i am a good person and i do the right things - but i also feel that this is something we all have to work on.

7] do what you love. i love photography. i would love to take a photography class someday. & i love books. i actually just joined a book club in evanston - which im pretty excited about. i also love going to concerts and traveling, but that isn't quite the cheapest thing to do. maybe i could make a goal to visit a new place one a week, whether it be a restaurant or store.

8] believe in magic. this is the one thing i need to work on. because of some of the things that have happened in my life, it has always been hard for me to believe in magic and faith. but the author says to believe in yourself, too: "summon that eight-year-old scrappy self-confidence and remember that you wanted to be a part of making the world just a little bit of a better place."

want to read the article yourself? :] go here!